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​JUST FOR FUN

FUN LITTLE ARTICLES & LISTS ABOUT THE TOPICS BUZZING AROUND WATERSHED.

Watermark Snack Reviews, Issue 1

10/15/2019

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by The Watermark Staff
Welcome to the Watermark’s first snack review, where we will regularly review the snacks eaten during meetings. 

SmartFood White Cheddar Popcorn

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Packaging: 
An overarching theme among the Watermark staff was a general dissatisfaction with the company’s rebranding efforts. The new bag features a new logo, a wedge of cheese, and a couple pieces of popcorn. It should be noted that the included images of the popcorn was a “bad interpretation” and that the photo of real cheese was off-putting. “This packaging induces the wrong emotions. I feel scared and lonely,” claimed one writer. 

Others, by a significant unpopularity, disagreed. “I like the black with the pop of yellow,” said another writer, claiming that they felt “intrigued” by this new look. 
Taste:
SmartFood White Cheddar Popcorn, upon initial impression, has a tangy smell. Though one party-sized bag, costing a pricey four dollars, was consumed entirely in one forty-five-minute meeting, its taste was met with harsh scrutiny. One critic lamented the inconsistency of the cheese flavor from kernel-to-kernel; another alleged that it tasted like styrofoam. “The thing I do not like is if you eat too many of them you get the weird creamy rim on your mouth,” declared one writer. Others agreed, noting that the snack was also hard to consume without water because the kernels “stick to the roof of your mouth.” ​
Nutrition: 
Nutrition-wise, SmartFood White Cheddar Popcorn is commendable. In addition to a very large serving size, true to its name, SmartFood White Cheddar Popcorn has very few calories. It is a good source of sodium, a local nutrition source disclosed, but “maxes out your saturated fat intake.”  
Takeaway?
“I do not like cheddar popcorn.” - Ari Dor 

Stauffer’s Animal Crackers 

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Packaging: 
Writers of the Watermark found Stauffer’s Animal Crackers’ red and blue packaging offputting. “This looks dangerous,” one writer commented, “it’s like firework packaging.” “It’s too flashy,” said another.  
Taste: 
Stauffer’s Animal Crackers carry a weird aftertaste distinct to animal crackers. The taste of animal crackers, to many, takes us back to our childhoods. 

“A lot of the crackers do not look animals,” one Watermark staff member expressed, defeated, “this could be useful in activating childrens’ imaginations but ultimately, make them very frustrating to eat.” 
​Nutrition:
The small bag contained 240 crackers, proving that the bag was extremely efficient as the company did not waste any space with air. “That is a lot of crackers,” one writer declared. The 240 crackers were reportedly a good source of iron and carbohydrates. 

This snack contains a shocking amount of thiamine mononitrate, containing more of this ingredient than sugar or baking soda. In fact, it is the third largest ingredient. “Why is there so much thiamine mononitrate in here?” we all asked. The empty hallways did not provide a compelling answer. 
​Takeaways: 
“I love grinding off their little heads with my teeth.” - Ari Dor
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The Origins of Popular Superstitions

10/15/2019

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by Mikai Tilton
Why don’t black cats get adopted as quickly as others? Why do some buildings lack a “13th” floor? Why do we fear breaking mirrors? All around us, society jumps through hurdles to avoid “bad luck.” But why? 
The number 13: 
An estimated 10 percent of the United States population fears the number 13—an extreme fear of this number is called triskaidekaphobia. Buildings often skip a 13th floor, and airplanes have been known to skip a 13th row. An avoidance—of marriage, traveling, and working—on Friday the 13ths costs the nation about $800 million annually. 

Judas, the disciple that betrayed Jesus, was said to be the 13th seated at the Last Supper. The occasional year with 13 full moons instead of the expected 12 would pose major problems for church festivals and monks in charge of characters. The tarot card XIII is the card of death, featuring a pale rider and horse. The earliest known written text, the Code of Hammurabi, was said to have omitted a 13th law. (This was later uncovered to be an early translation error, as the text is not ordered numerically and other texts have included this missing line.) 
Breaking a mirror: 
It was once believed that a man’s reflection was not only of his physical appearance, but of his soul itself. Thus, breaking a mirror directly damaged one’s soul as well as his body. Some believed that this would cause the soul to be unable to fight off bad luck; others believed that the damaged soul itself would take revenge for its mistreatment by killing a close friend or family member. 
​

Romans believed life renewed itself every seven years, so “seven years of bad luck” was the time that it took for the spirit of a human to be fully recovered to its original state. 
Black cats: 
The ASPCA reports that black cats are the least likely to be adopted from animal shelters than any other cat. Shelters in the United States and Canada often hold black cat adoption days and events near Halloween and Friday the 13ths to combat this stigma. 

These felines are thought of as bad luck themselves, but it’s an extremely bad omen when a black cat crosses your path. 

An avoidance of black cats can be traced back as early as the 14th century. As they were associated with the devil, many black cats were exterminated during the Black Death pandemic. Ironically, this would only have spurred the plague, as it was spread by rats. 

A popular fairy in Scottish folklore was the Cat Sith, a giant black cat that could steal newly deceased souls before gods could claim it. This led to watchmen called the “Late Wake” that would protect bodies before burial from this force. 

Because of their association to the Devil, black cats were quickly associated with the rise in “witchcraft” accusations of the sixteenth century. Over time, this association shifted from a witch’s “companion” to “familiar,” and witches were thought to be able to turn into these cats. 
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Million-Dollar Ideas

10/9/2019

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by The Watershed Community
LaKeg… Kegs of LaCroix."
Uncook food (raw energy)."
Chopsticks, but each one is a mini fork."
Create a new species of ferrets."
Tax fraud." 
Mini pet giraffes." ("Large pet giraffes")
Celery pizza."
Cat skis."
Planting trees when certain videos are watched."
Dude skirts." ("Kilts?")
Bagged pickles."
Communism (we all share the million dollars)."
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Bucket Lists

4/15/2019

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by ​Sam Andrews
During a late-night listicle rampage, I became interested in a personal bucket list but found all online inspiration to be overly similar and cliche. Not one to be easily dissuaded, I channeled my inner BuzzFeed and decided to write a listicle of my own on this exact subject and submit it to the far more reliable “Watermark.” Below, you will find the results of three weeks of pestering my classmates: a 101-point bucket list made up of the most interesting/unique goals Watershed students were willing to share.
  1. Expedition to Antarctica
  2. Get a badass girlfriend
  3. Deliver a baby
  4. Establish Communism
  5. Stop the establishment of Communism
  6. Visit the Montana pickle jar
  7. Summit Chapin, Chiquita, Ypsilon, and Fairchild in one go.
  8. Help develop a triple-A game
  9. Learn to whistle
  10. Win a game show
  11. Go dog sledding
  12. Learn to speak Chinese
  13. Buy a 1984 Porsche 911
  14. Be in two places at once
  15. Go Zorbing
  16. Solve a Rubix cube in under 10 seconds
  17. Wrestle an alligator
  18. Take a year-long vow of silence
  19. Pay for someone's education
  20. Go to burning man
  21. Win an obscure Olympics event
  22. Sneak into a castle
  23. Memorize the periodic table
  24. Survive in the wilderness on my own
  25. Organize a flash mob
  26. Find or hide treasure
  27. Jump off of a cliff
  28. Navigate a submarine
  29. Walk on hot coals
  30. Create an 80s-themed montage
  31. Learn falconry
  32. Drive around the U.S in a van
  33. Be the expert in a situation
  34. Go halo jumping
  35. Swim with whale sharks
  36. Sail around the world
  37. Get published
  38. Go viral
  39. Have a reality show
  40. Set the world record for confusing the most people
  41. Lose in sumo wrestling
  42. Do a drag show
  43. Survive
  44. Eat a molecular gastro dinner
  45. Leave a 1000% tip
  46. Help someone
  47. Convince an Amish person to take a selfie with me
  48. Find a Cryptid
  49. Align my chakras
  50. Walk away from an explosion
  51. Put my handprint in wet cement
  52. Be mistaken for a celebrity
  53. Get asked to be a sperm donor/surrogate mother
  54. Bowl a turkey
  55. Karate chop through a wooden board
  56. Go curling
  57. Drive a tank
  58. Feed a camel
  59. Ride a segway
  60. Sleep through a natural disaster
  61. Participate in a Japanese tea ceremony
  62. Sleep in an actual haunted house
  63. Stay at a Dude Ranch
  64. Find a lost civilizations
  65. Understand the universe
  66. Swim the Iguazu Falls triple frontier
  67. Meditate at Angkor Wat
  68. Take a cheesy photo on Abbey Road
  69. Put a robot in its place
  70. Use a laser gun
  71. Hold immense authority
  72. Dance during Carnival
  73. Start a tradition
  74. Argue my way out of trouble
  75. Throw a tomato at someone
  76. Perform on “The X Factor”
  77. Touch Ryan Reynolds
  78. V *clap* O *clap* T *clap* E * a series of claps
  79. Drink a malt at a drive-in movie
  80. Have a surprise party
  81. Prank a teacher
  82. Hold a sea snake
  83. Absolutely lose my mind at Coachella
  84. Play an extra in a horror movie
  85. Get mildly injured in every continent
  86. Write a manifesto
  87. Have coffee with Elon Musk
  88. Learn to speak Klingon
  89. Experience zero gravity
  90. Sleep for 100 hours
  91. Create a cure for EVERY disease ever
  92. Write a one hit wonder
  93. Crash a wedding with a boombox on my shoulder
  94. Become a nomad
  95. Fight God
  96. Teach a Watershed Seminar
  97. Live, laugh and love
  98. Get a really cool nickname I.E Falcon-Hook
  99. Fish something out of the Marianas Trench
  100. Say “enhance image” in a serious setting
  101. Never be a part of a listicle
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Pet Peeves (Part II)

2/11/2019

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by The Watermark Staff​
Since this is the Anger Issue,  it seemed only fitting that The Watermark staff bring back something included in last year's spring issue: a collection of personal pet peeves just aggravating to be worth sharing.
Promise rings."
People who eat pizza with a knife and fork."
"Walgreens."
Poor statistical analysis."
Curmudgeonly old men."
Brushed stainless steel."
The way illegitimate 'social justice' causes are overhyped to discredit valid movements."
Unironic T-posing.
Adults who say 'yummy.'"
Buzzfeed."
Pet Instagrams."
Weeding, or 'plant racism.'"
People who take their shoes off on airplanes."
ASMR."
The fact that Amazon owns Whole Foods (and 'shop local' hippies still shop there)."
Grease 2."
Overuse of lip balm."
When teachers touch your shoulder."
When the government puts chemicals in the water that turn the frogs gay."
PETA."
Non-mint toothpaste."
People who view the Huffington Post as a legitimate news source."
The fact that most receipts contain BPA and are therefore neither recyclable nor compostable."
Pronunciation of 'library' like 'lib-ary.'"
Hand-wash- & dry-clean-only clothes."
People who think calligraphy and typography are the same thing."
Music elitists."
The lack of intersectionality in most major social justice movements."
People who insist they never get angry."
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I Don't Know

12/4/2018

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by Theresa Dooley
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There are many many interesting things
From open roads to butterfly wings
Whiteboards are cool and clouds are too
Heck I could even make a stew
But why is it that with all these things
I can’t think of anything to write
I considered why I’m excited for spring
Even why I love to swing
I thought about what comes on the news at night
Maybe a story about flying a kite
Someone mentioned balloons and the merits they bring
But simply nothing seemed to ring
I pondered a lot trying to think of something good
But my head appeared to be simply made of wood
If I wrote some nice words I’d be happy to show’em
Instead I ended up writing this poem
So here I am typing away
Writing about how I have nothing to say
Thanks for reading, I'll talk to you later
Now go read the rest of the articles in this newspaper.
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Beloved Horror Movies to Binge this Halloween

10/10/2018

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by ​Mikai Tilton

It’s October, and the season for scary movies and Jack o'Lanterns has finally arrived! Here are the some of the best horror movies you should be binging this Halloween.
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The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Three film students hike into the woods of rural Maryland chasing a local legend and find themselves disoriented and terrified as events quickly derail. Praised for its innovative use of “found footage,” The Blair Witch Project relies on great casting, editing, and script to craft a compelling story with minimal equipment, low budget, and grainy black and white film. This unique style engages audiences in its escalating panic like nothing else as relatable characters get increasingly lost, as well as incorporating an impending fear of the unknown that heightens as the story progresses. Since this style relies more on scaring by playing on our collective fear of the unknown than violent imagery, it’s by far one of the less gory horror movies out there. If you want an original, compelling, and believable story, you can’t miss this classic. Best of all, you’ll never be able to forget this movie every time you find yourself in the woods at night.
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Saw (2004) 
This psychological thriller is infamous for exploring the extremes of human nature’s will to survive. Opening upon two people who wake up to find themselves locked in a basement public bathroom, terrified, viewers follow along as they eventually piece together that they are part of a notorious serial killer’s deadly game. Each victim is specifically targeted for being somehow deemed “ungrateful” for life as they have it—by being suicidal, addicted to drugs, having an affair—and as such, forced to make gruesome decisions to reevaluate how much they truly value their own life. Through many elaborate twists and turns, audiences are taken on a gripping journey through the mind of a sick but brilliant serial killer and his twisted philosophies. If you like frighteningly realistic horror or a complex, genius villain, Saw is the movie you’re looking for.
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​Coraline (2009)

When bored, overlooked Coraline finds an alternate universe where everything in her life is the same, but… better, it seems as if all of her dreams have come true. However, things don’t remain perfect for long, and she must act quickly to save the ones she loves as her utopia begins to fall apart to reveal its dark secrets. Don’t let the quirky stop-motion animation fool you—this movie isn’t as innocent as it may appear. The director that brought the world The Nightmare Before Christmas delivers like never before in Coraline with this macabre yet childlike style.
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​The Silence of the Lambs (1991) 

The Silence of the Lambs features another classic villain you’ve definitely heard of—the twisted yet ingenious famous Hannibal Lecter. A cunning psychiatrist-turned-homicidal-cannibal, his witty comments and glorious crime scenes earn him the spot of one of horror’s most beloved and feared fictional serial killers. A young FBI trainee is sent into a maximum-security asylum to observe the mind of Lecter but begins to seek his help to solve one of the city’s most recent murder cases. Quickly falling victim to his manipulative tricks, they form a strange bond that quickly leads to his escape. Award-winning acting, a brilliant soundtrack, and incredible camera work deliver a chilling yet fascinating portrayal of the classic novel.
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Early 2018 Meme Review

4/10/2018

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by Ari Dor
Whether you heard it at school or saw it on Reddit, new memes are always in your life somehow.  They’re either deadly, hilarious, or just a detriment to the universe. As a kid, I love them, but as an adult, reading this article may be a bad idea.

JANUARY

Spaghet
The quote from the 1939 Terry Toons “The Three Bears” Cartoon that made it onto YouTube and Reddit recently is 100% dead, but remixes and text-and-picture memes are still being posted because of the sheer hilariousness that comes out of this meme.  In the meme, the dad bear of the family realized that somebody was in their house and the person in that house had ‘toucha his spaghet’.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE1FrqheQNI

Ugandan Knuckles
In VRchat, a program for users of Virtual Reality headsets, Ugandans are role-playing as Knuckles and asking if people know the way, but the meme came from the pronunciation.  It sounded something like this: “do you know de wae”.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4UkY05ZkBs

FEBRUARY

Skadoo Skadae
As a continuation to Ugandan Knuckles, Skadoo Skadae is a couple of images made in MS Paint along with the Ugandan Knuckles meme.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUODMHX7ZuU

SpaceX
SpaceX memes are simple text-and-picture memes, mostly tweets.  It’s all about how the Falcon Heavy Rocket looks like a certain male organ.

MARCH

 Curb Your Meme
Curb Your Meme is a play on Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm.  In Curb Your Meme, the theme music is played over a zooming-in video clip of someone who can’t explain something.
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egovC1tUB0E
    
Jennifer Garner
At the 90th Academy Awards, Jennifer Garner was applauding when a sudden realization hit her.  We still don’t know what it is, but people are making predictions all over the place.
Link: 
​
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Culture/video/jennifer-garner-pokes-fun-viral-oscar-meme-53578125
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"Spaghet"
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"Ugandan Knuckles"
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"Jennifer Garner"
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Pet Peeves

4/10/2018

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by ​The Watermark Staff
​
“When Joe chews gum and eats food ‘into’ the microphone on Discord.” - Andy K.
“When parents introduce their small children’s ages using months instead of years.”
​- Kathlin A.
“Mansplaining.”
“Overconfidence… and sandwiches.” - Robbin D.
“When people excessively anthropomorphize their pets.” - Gus M.
“The state of Utah.” - Dani
“Nouns of any kind.” - Elijah P.
“When people confuse turtles and tortoises.” - Kate H.
“When people pronounce ‘nuclear’ like ‘nuke-ular.’” - Dani C.
“When I can’t get to 100 pounds.” - Gus M.
“How often Devin says ‘However.'”
“Looking better on a day when it doesn’t matter or I’m not seeing anyone.” - Nina A.
“People using words in the wrong contexts (e.g. upload vs. download, literally vs. figuratively).” - Elijah P., Dani H.
“When people use the word ‘triggered.’” - Everyone
People who have an excessive number of pet peeves.”
People who ‘humble-brag’ about their exercise” - Nina
“Selfie sticks.” - Dani H.
“People who breathe loudly.”
“Ketchup.” - Nina
“People who are obsessed with rules.” - Eloise
“People messing with my food.” - Greg
“Picky eaters in foreign countries.”
“People who call cars or machines ‘beauties’.”
“People who make fun of me for not knowing how to use a microwave. I don’t have a microwave!”
“New Zealand.”
“Loud tourists.”
​“People who name their kids after places.”
​“Theater kids.”
“People who excessively over-pronounce words that aren’t English, like ‘taco’ or ‘croissant’.”
“When Frank sits cross-legged on a stool.” - Gabe C.
“Absurd terms used at Watershed… it’s a cafeteria, not a cafe; it’s a break, not fresh air; it’s an assembly, not a community meeting,  etc.”
Accidentally misconstruing your point  in an argument, and the argument becomes about that." - Frank B.
“People who walk into a room and can’t pick up on the energy.” ​
INCONSISTENT FORMATTING."
“When people come back from a brief international vacation and change their entire accent.”
“Lunchbox obstruction.” - Grace 
“Being stuck in the middle seat on an airplane when both people next to you are sleeping.”
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The Onion: Predicting the Future Since 1988

4/8/2018

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by Nina Auslander
Chances are, If you’re familiar with the word satire, then you’ve heard of the Onion.
However, if you need a refresher on both of those terms, satire, according to Google, means “the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.” The Onion, then, is a satirical newspaper that “covers” today’s pressing issues.

Therefore, considering that all of the news the Onion covers  isn’t real, it’s quite shocking that some of the Onion’s stories have come true.

Below is a list of Onion articles that have come true over the years.

1.)  Onion Headline: "Miley Cyrus will be drained of entertainment value by 2013.” (2008)
We all remember 2013 vividly. How much this has to do with Ms. Cyrus’ infamous VMA performance is up to you. While Miley certainly went through quite a transformation that year, it’s pretty impressive that Onion was able to nail the year.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOgj2etJs3Y

2.) Onion Headline:  “Vatican Quickly Performs Damage Control On Pope's Tolerant Remarks.” (2013)
With the ascension of Pope Francis in 2013, the Vatican has become a slightly more liberal place. However, the lengths at which the rest of the church would go to shut down these remarks was hard to foresee. But not, apparently, for the Onion.
https://www.theonion.com/vatican-quickly-performs-damage-control-on-pope-s-toler-1819575336

3.)  Onion Headline: The 1% speak out against Inequality. (1996)
Since the mid-1990’s, the social consciousness of the nation’s top-earners has grown tremendously. In recent years, Mark Zuckerberg has pledged to give away 99% of his facebook shares, and Jeff Bezos has donated $40 billion to help DACA children with college tuition. Yet, this quote from more than 20 years ago perfectly sums up what would come out of a billionaire’s mouth today: ““As the nation’s ultra-elite overclass, we billionaires have for years enjoyed nearly unlimited economic privileges,we are here today to stand up and finally say, ‘Enough!’”
https://www.theonion.com/billionaires-demand-more-federal-scrutiny-1819563816

5.) Onion Headline: Area Man Consults Internet Whenever Possible (2000)
Sure, the Onion predicted the exact year Miley Cyrus would go a bit off the rails, but I think prophesying a dependence on the internet years before the first smartphone was invented is downright spooky. The last line in particular stays with you: “'Why don't we just look the word up in our old-fashioned dictionary?'" Wisniewski said. "The answer, of course, is simple: because we don't have to."
https://www.theonion.com/area-man-consults-internet-whenever-possible-1819565463
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Sources
http://www.grunge.com/48775/headlines-onion-later-came-true/
https://www.buzzfeed.com/sarahburton/onion-is-the-modern-day-nostradamus?utm_term=.qc3RxD2xE#.peaWMG7Mr
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